


Now That I Found You...Stay

by LittleSparrow69



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Apologies, Arguing, Established Relationship, Insecurity, Jealous Chris, Jealousy, M/M, Making Up, Misunderstandings, Sleepwalking, Vulnerable Sebastian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 17:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14242668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSparrow69/pseuds/LittleSparrow69
Summary: Sleepwalking - triggers could be anything from a mild disagreement to being thoroughly run down and overtired, depending on the individual.  Like being nervous about an upcoming audition...or being emotionally blindsided by your significant other with an argument you had no chance of winning.





	Now That I Found You...Stay

**Author's Note:**

> My first Chris/Sebastian RPF. I honestly thought that when I finally dipped my toe in that the muse would go for Steve/Bucky. This plot bunny was originally planned for Supernatural RPF with Jared/Jensen but it just never seemed to happen and now I know why. It was waiting for Chris and Seb!

They'd never gone to bed mad at each other before. Chris didn't like it but he was still burning with just enough fire to keep from reaching out, from saying something to ease the tense silence between them. The fact that Sebastian hadn't done so either spoke volumes. They both had a temper at times, often easily banked, but when ignited could make for some fiery battles. While Chris burned hot and slow like an ember - holding on to his anger far longer than he should, Sebastian's ire flashed bright and quick like a supernova and then dissipated completely. Far too often Sabastian was the one to give first and apologize, always quick to forgive when Chris finally came around. 

Back to back in their bed with a literal and figurative divide between them, Chris found it impossible to concede, still simmering with a spark of righteousness. He closed his eyes and did his best to ignore the quiet, unsteady breathing from the other side of the bed. Unfortunately his mind would not shut down. The argument played over and over again in his head. 

It had started innocently enough, Sebastian casually mentioning that Chase Crawford was in town and that they were going to meet up for lunch the next day. It was obvious that Sebastian was happy about the contact and the chance to reconnect, smiling and animated as he imparted the details of the conversation to Chris. It was also obvious that the two must have chatted for some time with the amount of information Sebastian was suddenly privy to regarding Chase's career and personal life. 

It wasn't even something that Chris had noticed at first. That nagging feeling deep inside of him and by the time he did notice, he was unwilling to analyze it. It's not like Sebastian had hid anything from him. He'd been very open about the call and the lunch date. He hadn't asked if Chris was okay with it...not that he had to ask permission or anything, but _something_ about it didn't sit right with him. Chris just didn't like it. But he couldn't say so without sounding or feeling like an asshole. 

He also couldn't let it go so what followed was an afternoon of passive aggressive behavior on his part that started out so subtle that Sebastian was oblivious to it. Chris wasn't consciously aware of upping the ante to get more of a reaction but soon he was getting thoughtful gazes and curious head tilts as if Sebastian couldn't quite figure out what had gotten into him. This may or may not have made things worse because _how_ could Sebastian not know? 

Over and over again Sebastian took the high road and chose not to respond in kind to Chris’s increasingly churlish behavior. Then, in what was perhaps an attempt to distract Chris from whatever was bothering him, Sebastian crawled into his lap and kissed him. It was deep and dirty and the offer of losing himself for a time in Sebastian’s body was more than implied. He couldn’t. Not this time. Instead he wrapped both hands around Sebastian's biceps and eased him back to arm's length. 

"I'm not in the mood," he'd said. 

Well that was pretty blatant on the passive aggressive scale. Hard to miss that one. Sebastian didn't miss it. He noticeably stilled and Chris could see the gears working as he put the pieces together. It made him uncomfortable because he still didn't want to talk about it. He wanted to move, to get up and put some distance between them, but he wasn't going to shove Sebastian off his lap in order to do so. 

"Is this about Chase?" Sebastian asked tentatively. 

Chris cringed and squirmed with the need to move. 

"Is this...do we need to talk about this?" Sebastian continued. 

"What's there to talk about?" Chris scoffed, pent up irritation and frustration finally bubbling out of him. "You've already decided." 

Eyes wide and blinking, Sebastian leaned back slightly. He looked shocked and at a loss for words as he gazed at Chris for a long and silent moment. 

When he finally spoke, the words were a statement of fact, tinged by mild surprise. "You're jealous." 

Chris didn't appreciate having the deep seeded emotion he'd been feeling named and pulled out into the open. He could stand it no longer. Hands on Sebastian's hips and jaw tight he guided the man off his lap and stood, walking to the other side of the room. When he turned, Sebastian was where he'd left him on the couch still looking shell-shocked. 

"He's just a friend, Chris," he said, as if that were explanation enough. 

It wasn't. Chris knew their history and that was part of the problem. It was easier to channel what he was feeling into anger and he finally unleashed it. 

"One that you fucked," he ground out. "One that you loved." 

Sebastian flinched unexpectedly and Chris suspected it was due more to the tone of his voice than his words. He looked at Chris like he'd never seen him before and didn't quite know how to proceed. There was vulnerability in Sebastian's uncertainty and a small part of Chris ached to soothe him. 

"Yes," Sebastian spoke careful and cautious. "We were more than friends once, but that's over. I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with you." 

"Are you sure about that?" It was out of his mouth before Chris could fully register it and he decided to run with it, his own insecurities fueling the fire. "Because your face lit up like a goddamn candle when you mentioned Chase Fucking Crawford! I haven't seen you that happy about anything in a long time." 

"That's not true," Sebastian said after a long minute where he looked at Chris as if he'd actually slapped him. "You know that's not true." 

"Do I?" On some level Chris knew he was not being rational or even reasonable but he couldn't seem to stop himself. 

"He's a friend, Chris," Sebastian repeated calmly. "How is this any different from you catching a drink with Ioan when he was in town a few months ago?" 

"I was never in love with Ioan," Chris informed him. 

"Maybe not," Sebastian conceded. "But you fucked him. You consider him a friend." 

"We screwed around a few times during filming but it was only ever friendship," Chris stated. "Not the same." 

Silence as Sebastian searched his gaze a little desperately. 

"Look...I don't know what you want from me here, Chris," he admitted. "Chase is a friend. That's it. If you can't take my word on that I think we've got bigger issues." 

"So this is my fault?" Chris countered. 

At that point he was spoiling for a fight. He could give Sebastian credit for trying to walk the line and keep things from getting out of hand but that wasn't what he wanted. 

"That's not what I said," an edge of exasperation crept into Sebastian's voice. 

It didn't take long to escalate from there. Once Sebastian started engaging instead of trying to keep the peace it was easier for Chris to ignore his inner voice. The one that said he was being unfair and he knew it. Oh, there was an underlying issue for sure, but instead of confronting it like he should have, Chris had lashed outward. 

"So what are you saying?" Sebastian demanded after several back and forth volleys. "That once you've been lovers you can never go back to friends? That's bullshit." 

"What I'm saying is that Chase was more than a lover and more than a friend," Chris pointed out unnecessarily. "He was there for you through some pretty deep shit." 

"Yeah," Sebastian emphasized almost challengingly. "He was." 

"You can't just go back to being friends after something like that," Chris stated. "There'll always be _something_ else there."

"So by that reasoning," Sebastian started, "If things didn't work out between us and we broke it off...we could never be friends?" 

Chris felt absolute horror at the words. More due to the fact that he could no longer imagine his life without Sebastian at his side. He loved Sebastian. He could never go back to mere friendship. It would hurt too much. 

"Fuck, no!" he said vehemently. 

Chis watched as the words hit like a physical blow. Hurt blossomed in those beautiful grey-blue eyes, lashes fluttering like hummingbird wings before Sebastian’s gaze dropped. He nodded, taking Chris’s words at face value. 

“Good to know,” Sebastian said quietly, withdrawing in every way possible without actually leaving the room. 

Everything ground to a halt...because _what the fuck_ was he even doing? Chris took a deep breath and exhaled slowly in an attempt to calm himself - the hostile words he’d spoken still shimmering in the air around them. He could admit now, if only to himself, that he felt threatened by the closeness that Sebastian shared with his ex. Chris didn't like it and he'd taken it out on Sebastian, but he'd never meant to take it this far. Or maybe he did. 

The fight had bled from him with the realization of the obvious hurt he'd caused, but inside he was still wrestling with the irrational fear of losing Sebastian and yes, that small but undeniable, seed of jealousy. He'd had no problem speaking his mind over the last few hours but now seemed incapable of saying anything. 

"I...I can't do this," Sebastian admitted. "I don't want to fight with you. I'm going to bed. We can finish this in the morning when we've both had some sleep," 

He had to walk around Chris in order to leave the room. Chris felt something break inside of him as Sebastian carefully maneuvered around him to avoid contact. He looked wounded and sad and Chris reached out without thinking, grasping Sebastian's wrist as he passed. They both froze. Chris still couldn't say anything but his touch was gentle, thumb stroking over the delicate inner skin in an apology he couldn't voice. 

Sebastian took a tremulous breath and had one final thing to say before retreating. "I love you." 

In bed, hours later, Chris heard those words over and over in his head. Sebastian's breathing had eventually evened out in sleep and Chris was grateful for it. The fire in him had finally burned out...leaving a sense of guilt and shame at his behavior. Fuck, he'd handled things so badly. In the midst of those turbulent emotions it had been hard for him to see beyond his own feelings. And it had been near impossible to say he was sorry - though to be honest he'd always had a hard time with that one. He could show he was sorry until the cows came home, but to actually say those two little words had always been difficult. 

Even now when all he wanted to do was wrap himself around Sebastian and kiss the back of his neck in apology...the words themselves caught in his throat despite the fact that the man was asleep and wouldn't actually hear them. Chris wrestled with the idea of doing it anyway. I mean the more he did it the easier it should become, right? Emotionally exhausted, Chris eventually drifted off with the best of intentions but without putting any of them into practice. 

An undefined amount of time later his eyes opened to the moon blue darkness of the bedroom. Chris was uncertain as to what woke him and why he was suddenly on alert. Shifting to his back he reached out automatically to the other side of the bed and found it empty. Head lifting from his pillow Chris listened for movement elsewhere in the house, fully expecting that Sebastian had merely made his way to the bathroom. What he heard instead had him bolting from the bed with a sense of urgency and a shot of adrenalin that would have rivaled Captain America for the speed in which he raced from the room - the unmistakable sound of the front door opening and then closing. 

A small, insecure voice whispered that this was it, Sebastian was leaving him but even as the thought crossed his mind it was almost immediately dismissed as Chris reached the door and yanked it open. In dark blue sleep pants, a wife beater and bare feet, Sebastian was making his way sedately down the front walkway only to turn right at the end to continue down the sidewalk. Inexplicably frozen until Sebastian made the turn, Chris jogged down the steps and cut across the lawn to intercept him. 

"Stop!" he commanded, reaching out to grasp Sebastian's biceps carefully and halt him in place. 

Standing still and silent with vacant eyes, features lax, Sebastian was oblivious to the hammering of Chris’s heart. 

"Jesus," Chris whispered in relief before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. 

There was a slight chill to the air, the night dark and quiet. Chris turned his head to gaze in the direction Sebastian had been heading. Nothing but darkness, broken by the occasional street lamp for almost half a mile...but then their street intersected with a busy section of highway that never truly slept. Chris closed his eyes and pushed away thoughts of what could have happened if he hadn't woken up. He just couldn't deal with that on top of everything else right now. 

Like most people he'd heard somewhere and had believed that it was dangerous to wake someone when they were sleepwalking. However, since living with Sebastian he'd done more than a little research on the subject and was much better informed. Waking a walker was more startling and disorienting than anything and often made returning to sleep much more difficult. Advice from so called experts encouraged gently guiding the sleepwalker back to their bed without waking them if at all possible. 

Chris cupped the back of Sebastian's head and pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead, lips lingering as he wrestled with mixed feelings of guilt, fear and a flare of fierce protective instinct that left him trembling from more than just the cool autumn temperature. 

"Come on, Sweetheart," Chris's voice tender as he took Sebastian by the hand. "Let's get you inside."

 

Completely oblivious to his surroundings Sebastian was alarmingly biddable and defenseless as he allowed himself to be led. Again, Chris didn't want to think about the implications of what could have happened if he hadn't woken at just the right time. Sebastian followed him up the steps and through the door without a hitch. Chris released his hand and hesitated just long enough to make sure Sebastian was going to stay put before turning to lock both the deadbolt and sliding the chain lock into place as well. He eyed them doubtfully; certain both had been locked earlier. Inspiration struck as he glanced at the small table off to the side where one of his favorite plants lived along with a small dish where they dropped their keys as they entered. Chris easily dragged the table in front of the door, effectively blocking it. Satisfied with his work he turned around and felt a flash of panic as Sebastian was nowhere to be seen. The darkened house was eerily silent. Instinctively, Chris made his way to their bedroom, breathing out a sigh of relief as he found Sebastian sound asleep in the bed. 

Closing the door behind him Chris climbed under the covers and pulled Sebastian close, tucking the man's head beneath his chin and running his hands over chilled skin. Sebastian shuddered and cuddled closer with a small, sleepy noise of appreciation - as if only now realizing how cold he'd been. 

Chris held him perhaps a tad tighter than necessary, not that Sebastian seemed to mind, until the last bit of adrenalin bled from his system. The argument they'd had earlier just seemed so stupid now. Chris knew that was the cause. When they'd first moved in together Sebastian had told him of his childhood proclivity to sleepwalk and not to worry about it. And Chris hadn't...until the first time it had happened. They'd been less than a month into their new living arrangement. Chris for his part had patiently followed an aimless Sebastian around the house as he wandered and stopped at random places before making his way back to their bed. The next morning Sebastian had been embarrassed but confided that his upcoming audition may have had something to do with it. 

 

That first and only incident until tonight had sparked Chris's research into causes for the disorder. Unfortunately there was no rhyme or reason as to why a specific individual may be more prone to sleepwalk than another. There were many documented cases of children eventually outgrowing the diagnosis or at the very least showing a marked decline in incidents, but even then there was no guarantee that the condition would not recur. It was widely determined that how one dealt with both physical and mental stress had a direct correlation to when and if that would happen. Triggers could be anything from a mild disagreement to being thoroughly run down and overtired, depending on the individual. Like being nervous about an upcoming audition...or being emotionally blindsided by your significant other with an argument you had no chance of winning. 

Chris didn't shy away from the guilt but neither did he wallow in it. Now that he had the proper perspective he was certain they could discuss the issue without the dramatics once they'd both gotten some rest. That being said, Chris wasn't sure he'd actually be able to sleep again for worry of a repeat performance from Sebastian but eventually the warm, heavy weight of the man in question pulled him under once again. 

They slept but Chris had no idea for how long. 

He woke again, groggy, when Sebastian left the bed once more. 

"Hey?" Chris called softly. 

The fog cleared when there was no response and Chris was once again scrambling from the bed as Sebastian turned the knob and opened the bedroom door. Wrapping an arm around Sebastian's waist from behind Chris used his other hand to push the door shut and hold it there. Sebastian continued to turn the knob, expecting the door to open. When it didn't he made a small, pitiful sound of distress. It was too much for Chris. He buried his nose in the fine hair at the nape of Sebastian's neck, lips stroking the sensitive skin beneath. 

"Shhhhhhhhh," he soothed. "I've got you. It's okay...everything's going to be okay..." 

To Chris it was telling that Sebastian was subconsciously attempting to put some distance between them, much as he had tried to avoid contact with him earlier before retreating to bed for the night. There was no way to avoid the fact that this time Chris _was_ the source of Sebastian's distress. Despite that, his voice did seem to have a calming effect so he kept talking. 

"We're going to be just fine, sweetheart...I promise." 

As he spoke Sebastian's hand fell away from the door and Chris wrapped him in both arms, holding him in a secure yet loving embrace. Sebastian stood passive and seemingly unmoved but eventually allowed Chris to guide him back to bed. Chris had hoped Sebastian would settle as he had earlier, but it soon became evident that it wasn't going to be that easy. Attempts to pull him close ended in restless, if sluggish agitation and an adorably epic pout that cut straight to Chris's heart in more ways than one. Denied the right to hold the man he loved, Chris settled for running the tips of his fingertips lightly along he inside of Sebastian's forearm, whispering heartfelt reassurances until the fidgeting stopped and Sebastian's face smoothed into a more natural slumber. 

Chris watched him sleep for the longest time, thinking about exactly what he wanted to say when morning finally rolled around. He wasn't aware of falling asleep this time and only realized he had when he opened his eyes to find the bed empty. Again. Racing from the room with yet another jolt of adrenaline Chris made a beeline for the front door, relieved to see the locks and table still in place. Turning in place he stopped and just listened for any other noises. There were none. The house was totally quiet. Chris was all but ready to light it up room by room when he caught a glimpse of bare feet in the moonlight shining through the dining room window. 

Making his way into the room with his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline, Chris could only stand there and blink in surprise at the site that greeted him. Sound asleep and curled up beneath the dining room table was Sebastian. Chris hooked two of the chairs closest to him and placed them against the wall behind him before squatting down to get a better look. He couldn't help but sigh in fond exasperation. Head pillowed on his arm, legs slightly bent, Sebastian looked surprisingly peaceful and comfortable. 

"So that's how it's going to be, huh?" Quietly amused, Chris considered his options. He was a bit chilled but Sebastian didn't seem to register the temperature, much the same as he hadn't earlier when he'd sleepwalked his way out into the night. Thankfully the dining room had a decent layer of carpet. Chris couldn't justify what he was about to do if Sebastian had been curled up on a hardwood floor. He shook his head, decision made. "Okay, then..." 

Chris stood and made his way back to their bedroom. The clock on his bedside table told him it was just after 4 am. Currently he could feel every sleepless moment of the never ending night as he grabbed his pillow and Sebastian's as well as the down comforter and trudged back out to the dining room. Sebastian hadn't moved a muscle. 

Still not quite believing he was doing this, Chris crawled beneath the table with his bedding and made them both as comfortable as possible...which was to say not very. Chris had sleeping bags with more padding - not to mention the cool draft that seemed to come out of nowhere that was probably always there but he'd never really noticed because he hadn't actually slept on the floor, any floor, since he was like twelve. Luckily the comforter was big enough to tuck around them both and it only took the slightest of nudges for Sebastian to shift just enough for Chris to slide an arm underneath and pull him in close. Over the next few moments Sebastian all but melted into the warmth surrounding him and Chris couldn't help but smile at the small snort-snuffle of contentment as Sebastian settled into him. 

"The things I do for you," he kissed the top of Sebastian's head. 

The smile slowly slid from Chris's face. There was not much he wouldn't do for Sebastian...but apparently being truthful about his own insecurities and apologizing for being a dick when warranted were not on that list. Chris sighed, tempted to wake Sebastian up now to clear the air and get everything out into the open. In the end he was too tired to do so. Sebastian was warm, safe and in his arms and that was enough for now. Tired eyes roamed the underside of their dining room table. It brought back memories of Saturday morning blanket forts with his brother and a sense of home and security. Simpler times. 

Early morning light streamed through the windows when Chris next opened his eyes. His back was stiff and he really needed to move but Sebastian was curled up next to him, head pillowed on Chris's shoulder, hand open and relaxed on his chest. Chris tried to stretch as unobtrusively as possible, arching his back, flexing enough to relieve some discomfort. The slight movement was enough to rouse Sebastian. He took a deep breath, subtly burrowing into Chris's side even as he tipped his head back in automatic expectation of a kiss. Chris watched as dark lashes fluttered, Sebastian waking in increments, a small smile curving his lips before heavy lidded eyes opened. For a handful of seconds there was nothing between them but the love they shared. Then Sebastian's eyes flickered beyond him. The smile froze, the languid body next to him stiffening. Chris watched as Sebastian took in their surroundings, mind quickly processing the likelihood of what happened and recalling the argument from the night before. 

Skin flushing with color, Sebastian dropped his gaze and attempted to pull away. Chris wasn’t having it. He tightened his arm, keeping Sebastian close. With his free hand he gently lifted Seb’s chin and forced him to meet his gaze. 

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he soothed. And then, because he owed it to Sebastian and after last night it wasn’t as hard to say as he thought it would be, “I’m sorry.” 

Sebastian stilled completely, eyes widening. He knew how hard those two little words were for Chris. 

“You were right,” Chris continued. “I was jealous. I just…I don’t want to lose you Seb. I love you more than I ever thought possible. I don’t know what I would do if…” 

Suddenly lips were pressed to his, this kiss chaste but insistent, a soft pained noise emanating from Seb’s throat. It was over just as quickly, the man in his arms wrapping himself around Chris like an octopus and holding tight. 

“God,” Sebastian said, lips brushing the soft vulnerable skin of Chris’s neck. “You’re such an idiot.” 

The words were small and broken, a barely noticeable hitch of breath as Sebastian clung to him. Chris held him until he calmed, one hand stroking up and down his back. 

“I don’t like it when we fight,” Sebastian admitted quietly. 

Chris kissed the top of his head. 

“I know,” he said. “I’m sorry. This was all me.” 

The floor was surprisingly comfortable with Sebastian in his arms, the silence between them no longer filled with tension as they held each other. 

“I’m going to call Chase and cancel…” Sebastian started. 

“No,” Chris interrupted, pulling back and cradling Sebastian’s face as the man lifted his head. “I don’t want you to do that. “ 

Chris smiled tenderly at the subtle concern on Seb’s face and combed his hand through adorably sleep mussed hair. 

“It’s okay” he insisted. “Go, spend time with your friend. I’m pretty sure I got all my insecurity out last night.” 

It was said lightly, but rang all too true. 

Sebastian leaned into the hand that Chris still had in his hair. 

“You’re welcome to come with me,” Sebastian offered with a sincerity that had Chris pulling him in for a kiss to his temple. 

“Thank you,” Chris said, genuinely touched by the invite. “But you deserve to spend time with your friend without worrying about my feelings. It’s okay, really. I want you to go and have a good time.” 

Sebastian held his gaze for a long moment, gauging the truth of the words. The sweet, understanding smile made Chris’ heart flutter, especially as it turned mischievous, Sebastian straddling him beneath the table.

“You know,” Seb said playfully, keeping their bodies close, “I thought we’d christened every inch of this house but it turns out we may have missed a spot.” 

Chris laughed and wrapped a hand around Sebastian’s neck to pull him closer. 

“I guess we should do something about that then,” he said.

~*~

Six hours later Chris stood at the door after giving Sebastian a kiss goodbye, watching him walk to the car. While he’d been honest in stating he’d gotten most of his insecurity out during the night, there was a small measure of satisfaction in knowing that Sebastian would feel the effects of their lovemaking through every moment of his lunch date with Chase. 

Sebastian turned at the last minute before getting into the car. He must have sensed something in Chris’ gaze to hint at his inner thoughts because his expression immediately softened and he shook his head in fond exasperation. He gave a final wave that Chris returned as he pulled out of the drive and headed towards the highway. 

While there were plenty of things for him to do, Chris ended up on the couch with the remote. Netflix was calling his name. He picked something from his queue as opposed to their shared queue and settled back to watch a few episodes of Mindhunters. Somehow he managed to watch the show and think about Sebastian at the same time. Eventually he fell asleep on their ridiculously comfortable sofa. He woke hours later to a cool hand on the side of his face. 

“Hey, beautiful,” Chris murmured, warm and lethargic. “Have a good time?” 

Sebastian nodded but didn’t elaborate. “Can I join you?” he asked. 

In response Chris moved as far back as the couch would allow to make room for Sebastian, who wasted no time curling into the warmth of his chest and tangling their legs together. There was just enough room for both of them so long as they didn’t move. 

Sebastian’s breath was warm on his neck, Chris’ hand cupping the back of his head, chin resting atop artfully mussed hair. 

“I missed you,” he said softly. 

Chris smiled and held him tighter. “I missed you, too.” 

They spent the afternoon dozing and trading slow, sleepy kisses, content to do nothing more than hold one another. 

 

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> I did some minor researching on sleepwalking and added some of my own theories as well so its a mix of both, to be taken with a grain of salt. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading. If you enjoyed at all please let me know!


End file.
